Hidden Truth
by Abidilydaly131
Summary: A month after Elliot's resignation Liv is adjusting to his absence, when Kathy Stabler informs her of Elliot's unexpainable disappearance. Liv puts everything on the line to find him and bring him home.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: [It is _my_ version of the summer before _**my**_ version of the beginning of season 13.] Olivia is adjusting to Elliot's absence from the team, but when Kathy Stabler informs her of Elliot's unexplainable disappearance, everything is put on the line to find him and bring him home.

Note: I started writing this WAAAAAYYYYY before we even started hearing news about new characters and the legitimate reason why Elliot left SVU. Although I think it was pretty obvious why he left (*the shooting*cough cough*)…but anyway…

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! *sigh* if only I did… *sigh*

* * *

><p><span>Hidden Truth: an SVU fanfiction<span>

It was almost noon at the SVU precinct. The room was crowded and everyone was busy. Their latest case was almost settled, and the team was tying up loose ends. Everything seemed normal, except for one lone desk. It was empty. It had been empty for nearly a month, and no one even dared try and replace its former owner.

Elliot Stabler was gone. He had shot a young girl, and it shook him to the core; even though it was his job, even though it was his duty, even though it was the right thing to do. Something about that moment shattered his heart and he couldn't live another day at SVU. So he packed up his desk, handed in his two weeks, and walked out without so much as a goodbye.

His partner, Olivia Benson, hadn't spoken with him since his resignation, and she desperately wanted to see him, to talk to him, to gain closure. But after the weeks of nothing, Olivia decided it was her turn to achieve _something_. She dumped what control of her life she had left into her job, and tried to become the best version of herself without Elliot. She found her own kind of closure.

But things still seemed distant to Olivia. Every day seemed empty; as if something was missing. Nothing was right. Everything was wrong, in its own way. Olivia still couldn't bring herself to believe in an SVU without Elliot.

She had never really thought about her future in SVU, but when she did, she always imagined Elliot there. Elliot, always there to have her back; Elliot, always there to wipe away her tears, which were few and far between; Elliot, always ready to give her a lift to work at three in the morning, and tell her how great her bed-head looked. Elliot had always been there. In fact, Olivia couldn't think of a time when Elliot hadn't been right there beside her.

_Partners, for better or for worse, _She would think. _Yeah, some promise, huh? _

Today was different. Today seemed normal, or as normal as it could be without Elliot, and Olivia was in the best mood she'd been in all week. Suddenly the doors flew open and the last person Olivia expected to see burst into the room: Kathy Stabler.

"Where's Olivia?" Kathy hollered at the nearest officer, "Where is she?"

"Kathy?" Olivia called to Kathy and made her way through the crowd of people, "Kathy, what's going on? Is something the matter with El?" She asked, the thought sending shivers up her spine. If Elliot was hurt, she'd never forgive herself for not being there.

Once she was close enough to Kathy, Olivia could see the look of pure hatred and fury spread across her face. She didn't think anything of it until she saw Kathy's hand ready to strike.

"_**You bitch**_!" Kathy shrieked, smacking Olivia's face with as much might as she could. The force nearly knocked Olivia onto the ground, but she quickly regained balance. Munch and Fin, who were nearby, turned and were ready to assist Olivia with her unexpected assailant, but she motioned them away.

Olivia was completely stunned. She rubbed her stinging cheek, and stared in awe at the furious blonde who stood before her, "God, Kathy! What was that for? What happened?" She asked. She had no clue what had gotten into her ex-partner's wife, but she knew it wasn't good.

Kathy sneered, "Oh, don't act like you don't know! I trusted you, Olivia," She said, stepping forward and getting right in Olivia's face, "But _this_? This is cold, even for you."

Olivia was beyond confused, but she tried to remain calm, "Kathy, just tell me what's going on-"

"Where. Is, Elliot?" Kathy asked, enunciating each word with precision and rage.

Olivia's heart stopped, "Wha…_what_?"

"**WHERE. IS. MY. HUSBAND**?" Kathy repeated. Her dark, suspicious eyes burned through Olivia, who stared back, her eyes wide with bewilderment and disbelief.

*queue theme song*

The entire squad room grew quiet as Kathy and Olivia glared at each other. Neither of the two women said anything, but the situation was quite clear.

Kathy finally stepped back and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Liv…er, _Detective Benson_. I shouldn't have acted like that," She said, looking down at the speckled tile.

"No, Kathy, it's…it's alright." Olivia said, placing a reassuring hand on Kathy's shoulder, only to have it brushed away.

"No, it's not alright…" Kathy said, sitting down in a nearby chair, "Nothing is alright anymore…"

Kathy leaned forward and cradled her head in her hands. Olivia could hear a small sob from her, and felt even more alarmed. Kathy hardly ever came to her when something had happened at home, and Olivia never expected her to, especially after the divorce all those years ago.

"Please, Olivia, why don't you just tell me?" Kathy finally whispered through her tears.

Olivia was still baffled, and took a seat next to Kathy, "Start from the beginning, please I have no idea what you're talking about…"

Kathy sat up and laughed, "Oh, please, give me a break, Liv!" She rolled her eyes and glanced around the room, her eyes falling on her husband's desk. A sudden look of confusion came to her teary eyes, "Why isn't his stuff here?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked. The dots were beginning to connect, but she didn't want to believe it.

"Why is his stuff gone? He sits here, right?" Kathy got up and began to open the drawers, as though she was looking for something, "Why aren't his things here? Where'd they go?" She rambled off questions as she searched inside.

Olivia took a deep breath, and tried to calm herself down before beginning to explain, "Kathy, El…Elliot left. He quit."

Kathy stared at her, shocked, "What? He _quit_? What do you mean he quit? When?"

Olivia gathered as much strength as she could, and continued, "He resigned about a month ago; after the shooting…"

"_Shooting_?" Kathy gasped and stumbled to sit in Elliot's desk chair.

Olivia tried to put on a calm façade, but her compressed emotions were beginning to take over, "He shot a victim's daughter, when she brought a gun into the precinct and…Didn't he tell you?" She asked, dreading what the answer would be.

Kathy shook her head slowly, as she gazed off into the distance, "No…he didn't tell me anything…"

Both were silent as the truth settled in.

"Oh, God, Olivia…I'm sorry for this…" Kathy said, standing up and pacing the floor, "It's just, Elliot hasn't been home for nearly three weeks, and I've tried calling him, but his cell was disconnected, so I just…I thought, maybe _you_ and _he_, might have… but, it was a stupid assumption, that's all…I should go," Kathy stood and began to walk away, but Olivia stopped her.

"Wait, are you saying you haven't heard from him _at all_?" Olivia asked, more concerned about Elliot then Kathy's hidden accusations.

Kathy shrugged and nodded, "I mean I thought he was just had an undercover thing but you didn't call and tell me, like you always do, so I got worried, and I thought maybe Elliot finally had enough of me and went to you, but, I don't know what I was thinking…Elliot would never cheat on me…" Then she cast a death stare at Olivia and asked, "Or would he?"

The question startled Olivia at first, because she hadn't expected Kathy to be so straight forward. Olivia knew Kathy was sometimes suspicious about her and Elliot, but never to this extreme.

"Elliot wouldn't do that, Kathy…" Olivia said, "Elliot has always loved you and your family, and he would _never_ do that sort of thing, especially not with me. You've got to believe that."

Kathy looked down, embarrassed that she had questioned her husband's actions. She knew Elliot and Olivia were best friends and partners, and she knew Elliot would never cheat on his family. Then something more troubling then the fear of losing him to Olivia came to her mind, "But if he's not home, and he's not with you, then where is he?" She asked, panic resonating throughout her voice.

Olivia shook her head in defeat, "I have no idea…"

* * *

><p>COMMENTS? Suggestions? Please R&amp;R!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

So, here it is! The long awaited 2nd chapter!

* * *

><p>Olivia anxiously waited as Elliot's cell phone rang.<p>

_We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service at this time…_

"Damn it!" Olivia whispered under her breath as she ended the call.

"Anything?" Kathy asked. Her voice was a mixture of desperation and hope.

Olivia shook her head, "Nothing."

Kathy began to pace again as her eyes filled with tears, "Oh, God! Where is he? He's never done this before…Olivia, what am I going to do? He might have gotten hurt or worse…Please, God, No!" She leaned against a nearby wall and slid to the ground when her knees became too weak to stand.

Olivia rushed to her and helped her to her feet, "Kathy, Kathy, listen to me….Elliot is going to be fine, trust me. He wouldn't do something like this if he didn't have a reason."

Kathy sighed, and nodded. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath, "So, how are we going to find him?"

Olivia wanted to answer Kathy's question as much as Kathy wanted to hear it, but something stopped her. Her inner conscience told her that if Elliot disappeared on his own, he didn't want to be found. But her heart was sure that Elliot needed her. He wouldn't have caused this much worry for nothing.

Olivia broke from her distracted thought, and looked to the terror stricken Kathy, "I don't know what we're gonna do…But we'll find him, Kathy," She forced a small grin, and was relieved when Kathy returned the smile.

"I know you will, Olivia," Kathy said.

That small boost of encouragement gave Olivia the determination she needed.

"Alright, we need to find out if he contacted _anyone_. Do you know if he called the kids?" Olivia asked, her detective-senses setting in and driving her next move.

"Not that I know of. Lizzie and Richard are worried sick, but I haven't called Maureen or Kathleen. I'll do that now. I'll try and call his Mom, too." Kathy pulled out her cell.

After nearly two hours of phone calls leading to dead ends, Olivia finally enlisted the help of the rest of the SVU team.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Cragen asked, only a little upset at his most trusted detective.

"Yeah, we've been sitting here twiddling our thumbs and Elliot's out there in trouble? What were you thinking, Liv?" Munch asked, taking offense.

"Do you think we don't care as much about El as you?" Fin interjected.

Olivia tried to explain, "No, of course not, it's just…I didn't want the _entire_ team going on a wild goose chase, when-"

"Goose chase? This is Elliot we're talking about! Not some punk kid going out on a two-week long joyride," Munch said, getting more aggravated.

"I know that!" Olivia said, shrugging her shoulders in defeat, "It's just that Kathy was so wound up and emotional, I thought-"

"-That I was overreacting?" Kathy asked, stepping into the group's tête-à-tête. She had been listening to them discussing her husband's disappearance.

Olivia's stomach dropped and she felt humiliated, "Goodness, no! I didn't mean that. I just thought it'd be best to handle this between the two of us. I didn't want you to be overwhelmed with so much police interference-"

Kathy scoffed, "Don't try and explain yourself, Olivia. If you don't want to find him, then I'll find him myself." She turned and stormed away.

"Kathy!" Olivia yelled as Kathy exited the room. She tried to follow her, but Cragen rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"Don't. She'll only get more upset," He said.

Olivia nodded in understanding. Kathy was confused and worried. She had only come to Olivia because she was hopeless, and wanted to blame someone for her troubles. Kathy was nowhere near ready to come to terms with Elliot's disappearance, but then again, neither was Olivia.

Olivia was worried more than she'd ever been before, and her confident detective facade was only a mask hiding the terrified woman underneath. She was scared for Elliot's life, although she was still trying to figure out why. Elliot was strong, brave, and smart; he wouldn't do anything stupid or desperate. There was nothing to be worried about. But as much as Olivia would have liked to believe that Elliot was fine, a part of her still wasn't sure, and she wouldn't rest until she knew Elliot was safe and sound.

Olivia took a deep breath, "Ok, Fin, I need you to start with his phone records. Munch, you should check his expenses. See if he used his credit cards recently. I'll call the feds. Maybe he's undercover with them and just dropped off the face of the planet without telling me...or Kathy." Olivia looked to Cragen so he could approve her final order.

He wrinkled his brow as he thought to himself, staring at the floor. The detectives waited. He suddenly looked up and asked, "Well, are you just going to stand there? Get moving!"

All three detectives nodded and ran to their desks. It was crunch time.

_A While Later…_

"No, he's a white guy…What do you mean you don't know him? I haven't even given you the full description!" Munch's conversation with a possible lead was leading nowhere.

"Well, thanks anyways Dana…Yeah, I'm sure he's fine, but I just wanted to check with you guys…Thanks, Ok, bye…" Olivia sighed as she ended her call with a friend at the Bureau (and one of the only federal agents whose main agenda was not to breath down the SVU team's back.) Thankfully this friend was as much a friend of Elliot's as she was Olivia's and was happy to help, but was unsuccessful in uncovering Elliot's name in their undercover case files. Another road to nowhere.

"Hey, Liv, come check out El's phone records," Fin yelled, waving Olivia over to his computer.

"Anything? Who has he called?" She asked, her eyes scanning the screen.

"Well he hasn't made any calls since two Thursdays ago, but he's had several people trying to call him," Fin explained, pointing out the various dates and numbers.

"Ok, well that number's mine when I tried to call him today, and that's Kathy's number, but I don't recognize the last number _he_ called…" She said, pointing it out.

"Well, I'll call and see who's home," Fin said, reaching for the desk phone.

"No, wait," Olivia said, stopping Fin's hand before he could grab the phone. He gave her a questioning look, but she ignored it, "I'll do it." She picked up the phone and dialed the number.

She waited, carefully cradling the phone to her ear.

_Ring…ring…ring…pause…ring…ring…ring…_

"Any answer?" Fin asked.

"No…" Olivia said, rolling her eyes, "But see if you can trace the number, OK?" She turned to go back to her desk, but was surprised to find Munch looming beside her.

"Whoa! Personal bubble? Heard of one?" She asked, annoyed.

"They're over rated," Munch retorted, but took the hint and stepped back, "I just wanted to say that someone tried to get some money out of Elliot's account, using Elliot's card. Yeah, three days ago, but whoever tried using it entered the wrong PIN number."

"Seriously?" Olivia perked up, thankful that Munch had found something.

"Yeah, at an ATM over in Queens. I've got the address, but I called the bank and they said they'd hand over the video footage."

"Well, when will we have it?" She asked, even more aggravated. It could take hours, days, for that tape to get to the precinct.

Munch grinned, "One step ahead of you! They sent the tape right over," He explained, tossing the tape to her, "I threatened to invade their building with a swarm of officers, warrant in hand, if we didn't have it by noon today."

"But it's five 'o'clock now," Olivia said, pleasantly puzzled.

"Exactly," Munch replied, motioning her to the screen, where he'd already pulled up the footage, "I've fast forwarded to the time Elliot's card was used. Let's watch, shall we?"

He pressed play. After a minute of hurried New York hustle-and-bustle, a guy wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt walked up the machine.

"Stop there!" Olivia shouted.

Both she and Munch gazed expectantly at the shaded face, hoping to recognize the figure.

"It's not him…" She whispered, her heart sinking in her chest,"Another dead end…"

"Well, maybe not," Munch said, quickly running to his computer, "This guy could be in the system. Should I run a facial recognition scan?"

"Go ahead," She took a deep breath and leaned against the table behind her. She gazed at the man in the hoodie, trying to find some sort of clue to his identity. He wasn't anyone she knew, and he didn't seem like the sort of person Elliot would hang out with. Maybe he was a perp from one of Elliot's past cases.

Or maybe Elliot knew him from the academy.

Or perhaps he was connected to Elliot's family somehow.

Or maybe he was just some idiot who decided that pick-pocketing the city's best detective was a good idea.

"Got him!" Munch hollered.

"Who is he?" Olivia asked, practically running to Munch.

Munch opened a profile, "Introducing your friendly neighborhood asshole, Anthony Jose. He's been in and out of prison for Assault, Theft, Possession with Intent, DUI… He was arrested a week ago for assaulting his girlfriend when he thought she was banging some other loser. He got out on bail the same day he used El's card."

Olivia looked through the mug-shots and arrest papers, desperately trying to find a connection to Elliot.

"So, do you want to bring Jose in and ask where he last saw, er, robbed El?" Munch asked, knowing Olivia would want to pound the living shit out of Jose if he even so much as laid a finger on Elliot.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah, I think it's about time for a come-to-Jesus meeting…" She quickly grabbed her coat and keys, and stormed out the precinct doors, with Munch following close behind.

* * *

><p>COMMENTS? PLEASE REVIEW!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

A new chapter! Oh happy day!

Chapter 3! I do not own anything!

* * *

><p>"Where is he, Anthony?" Olivia hollered at the smug creep sitting across the table, "Come on, I know you remember!" She waved an evidence bag in Jose's face, "You remember where you stole his card?"<p>

"I don't know anything 'bout stolen plastic!" He said, without even looking at the card. But Olivia didn't place the evidence bag down, and left it hanging in his face. He finally glanced at the card and tilted his head, "Can I see that?" He reached for the bag, but Olivia quickly pulled it out of reach.

"Nope, you need to tell me where you got it. Who'd you take it from?" She asked, walking around to the other side of the table.

"I don't know." He shrugged and leaned back in his seat, tilting the chair on its back legs.

"You don't know? Brilliant!" Olivia had had enough of this punk's games, "So this card just happened to be in _your_ wallet? And your evil twin just happened to get caught _on tape_ trying to use this card three days ago? Is that it?" She asked, leaning against the one way window on the far side of the interrogation room.

"Yeah…Just like that!" Jose said haughtily, although he was obviously lying.

"Right…Because I'm going to believe that," Olivia said, rolling her eyes and beginning to pace again.

"Hey, maybe I stole it, maybe I didn't," Jose argued, looking at Olivia intently, "But you won't find out unless you're willing to…pay up."

"Excuse me?" She asked harshly, not liking what he was implying.

"Get those assault charges thrown out," Jose firmly stated, as he stood to his feet, "They're based on nothing! Lily's out to get me! This will ruin my life!"

"Well you should have thought about that before you started slapping around," Olivia noted, taking a step closer to Jose, but quickly turning away before he could reply to her face.

"Hey that bitch was cheatin' on me! What was I suppose to do? I had to teach her a lesson," He said casually sliding back into his seat.

"So she deserved it?" Olivia asked, crossing her arms.

"Yeah. She had it coming to her," Jose said, nodding in agreement.

"Like Rositta Torrez?" She asked, suddenly.

"Who?" Jose looked up, confused by Olivia's question.

"The girl you nearly put in a coma three years ago," Olivia slapped down a picture of a young woman. She was covered in bruises and had an arm in a cast. Her lip was bloodied up and she had a black eye.

"OK, that bitch hated me. The little slut was a pain in the ass, but I didn't hurt her that much! Just a split lip…" Jose flicked the picture across the table.

"Well, that 'split lip' was 38 stitches, a broken arm, three cracked ribs, and a restraining order!" Olivia grabbed the photo and forced it in his face, before slamming it back on the table.

"OK, well…maybe it wasn't just a split lip. But what does this have to do with that guy's card?" Jose asked, genuinely confused by the topic of the interrogation.

"Oh, we're getting there," Olivia explained, "But I have some more questions for you first."

"Fire away, Detective. I've got nothing to hide," Jose folded his arms and anxiously waited for Olivia to continue.

Olivia stared into Jose's eyes as she placed another photo on the table.

"How do you know Elliot Stabler?" She asked, with a deliberate tone in her voice that would send shivers up the spine of the most heartless perp.

Despite the sudden chill, Jose chuckled and balanced his chair on its back legs again, "Well, I don't know him, but he must be pretty important if you're going to waste an entire day interrogating a good-for-nothing crook like me. Who is he?"

Olivia leaned across the table and got right in Jose's face, "He's my partner."

Jose raised an eyebrow, "Really? Just your partner? Are you sure?"

"What do you mean by that?" Olivia asked, standing upright.

"Well," Jose said putting his elbows on the table, watching Olivia, "Now, I'm not one to judge, but I do have a pretty good track record of sensing when a woman is hiding something. I mean, I was right about Lily when she screwed her boss, and I am dead-positive that Rositta had something going on with that prick at her gym, but…"

"Where are you going with this, Jose?" Olivia rubbed her forehead, trying to calm the sudden headache that had been ignited by Jose's arrogant attitude.

Jose cocked his head to the side and a sly grin spread on his face as he looked up at her, "Oh, we're getting there, Detective Benson. But I have some more questions for you first…" He slowly stood to his feet and walked to where she stood, so he looked her straight in the eye, "How often did you sleep with him?"

Olivia's jaw dropped, "Wow. You're really going to play that card?"

"Just answer the question, Detective. How many times did you screw him?" Jose asked, walking forward which forced Olivia to step back.

"You know nothing!" Olivia said firmly, looking straight in his eyes.

Jose shrugged and began circling Olivia, "Come on! There's got to be a reason you want to find this guy," Jose's eyes brightened and the grin on his face grew even more sinister, "What he do?" He asked, whispering in her ear from behind, "Knock you up?"

Olivia turned and flew at Jose, grabbing his collar, "WHERE IS HE, YOU BASTARD?" She screamed, her blood boiling.

Jose raised his eyebrows high, "Oh, _wow_! Did I hit a nerve?"

Olivia froze as her own signature catch phrase reverberated in her ears, along with Jose's sick laughter.

She unconsciously loosened her grip on Jose's shirt, just enough for him to sneak past her and open the door to leave, "You can talk to my attorney about any additional charges you _think_ you can pin on me, but until then, goodbye, Detective. And good luck…" He snickered as he closed the door with a loud thud.

Olivia stood in solitude for several minutes. She wanted to die. She had him…she had him right where she wanted him, and he hit a nerve. If she had only held out for five more minutes she could have had an ADA down there writing up a deal, and maybe, just maybe she could have found Elliot. But no. Not today. Today Olivia lost.

_Later…_

"Liv, come on, it's late," Cragen said as he passed Olivia's desk on his way out, "You should go home. We can begin fresh tomorrow," Cragen insisted. The team had been working nearly all night. It was almost three in the morning, and Munch and Fin had already headed home.

"No, I've got to stay here tonight and try to find something…anything that'll help find him. I just have to. I can't let Elliot down," She said, leaning back in her desk chair, secretly wishing she could go home and rest.

Cragen nodded and patted her on the back, "Well, try and get a little sleep while you're here. There's a mattress in my office. Feel free to use it if you want."

"Thanks, Cap'n," She smiled.

Cragen grinned and began to walk to the door, "Goodnight, Benson," and with that, he was gone.

The lights slowly began to shut down, and the only remaining source of light was Olivia's desk lamp. She had never been afraid of the dark, but Olivia was highly sensitive of the way the moonlight threw shadows across the precinct floor. It wasn't a scary sort of dark; it was just a bit unsettling.

As she sat, shrouded by the struggle between dark and light, Olivia thought about Elliot. He had vanished, fallen from the earth. It was as if he never existed.

A sudden thought came to Olivia and she reached for her cell phone.

_Hm…I wonder…_Olivia thought.

She had called before and no one answered. Fin hadn't been able to trace the number, but maybe someone would pick up this time.

Olivia quickly typed in the number and pressed the call button.

_Ring, Ring,Ring…Ring,Ring,Ring…Beeeeeeepppppppp…We're sorry the call cannot be completed as dialed…_

As the calm, unfeeling phone voice informed her of the failed call, tears formed in Olivia's eyes. She brought the phone down from her ear.

"Ah!" Olivia screamed. In one swift motion she threw her phone across the room. The small crash of plastic and metal as it skidded across the floor was the only sound she heard.

As darkness surrounded her even more, a heavy emptiness grew in Olivia's heart. She could feel its pressure within her, willing her to cry out in anger, sadness, regret.

But Olivia fought back. She didn't cry. At least, not often.

After what seemed like an eternity of fighting the tears that were desperate to break free, Olivia finally let go.

She leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling, as the first of many sobs escaped her.

She sniffed the tears away at first, and shut down her computer. Olivia took a deep breath and turned the desk light off. She quickly made her way to the Captain's office and flipped on the light.

There was a small cot folded up in the corner and a pillow or two as well.

"Well, Cragen's sure got SVU figured out!" Olivia whispered out loud, smiling.

She unfolded the cot and eased herself down onto the bumpy mattress. Finally some sleep.

Or not.

She thought back to her first day at SVU. She remembered how nervous she was, yet how relieved she felt the second she met Elliot. He was everything she'd ever hoped for in a partner. Strong, brave, loyal, and even stubborn. Those were the qualities she missed so much.

Oh, there were countless times when she wanted to bust his head in and give him a piece of her mind. He'd hurt her so much and had broken her heart more than anyone she'd known. Yet he still had her back. He never let her down and he was always there for her, no matter what.

"_I'm your partner, for better or worse…"_

Those were _his_ words.

_His_ words.

Olivia sat up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "How could you leave?" She spoke out loud to the darkness, as if it'd answer back, "How could you just abandon everything we knew? SVU was your life, El! Our life…" Suddenly Olivia realized what she was doing, "Oh, God, what am I saying? You're not here!" She stood to her feet and looked around, as though she were addressing the furniture, "Because you're gone! You're gone and you're never coming back!" Olivia let another wave of tears overcome her.

She stood there, grasping the edge of a chair for support. She thought she had gotten over him, but she hadn't. She knew she'd never be able to. Olivia couldn't believe that she had actually grown so close; had trusted so much; had loved so deeply. She wished she could go back in time and convince herself to avoid the heartache at all costs. But she wouldn't have. She would have done everything over again if she could.

For him.

"You stupid bastard…" She said as she finally slid back to sit on the edge of the cot, leaning over, with her head in her hands.

"And a 'hello' to you, too," A voice arose from the shadow of the doorway. Olivia would have recognized it anywhere.

"Elliot?" She looked up to see if it could really be true.

Olivia's heart nearly burst as her partner of more than a decade stepped forward into the light.

He smiled but the smile instantly faded as he locked eyes with Olivia.

She didn't smile, or anything. She barely moved. She simply stared at him, her eyes filled with tears.

* * *

><p>So…Who's excited? I'll post the next chapter really soon, I just wanted you guys to freak out for a bit before reading on. Hehehe…. So cruel…so cruel…<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

You know that awkward moment when you post the wrong chapter, from the wrong story? Sorry for the mix up!

The REAL 4th CHAPTER!

* * *

><p>"So, are you going to say anything?" Elliot asked, standing there, expecting the welcome home of champions, "You can't just leave me hanging, Liv, please. Say something<em>, anything<em>!"

Olivia slowly stood to her feet, "Where the _hell_ have you been?"

"You mean just now?" He asked stepping towards her, "Oh, you don't have to worry. I didn't hear much, just the last bit. But I can tell someone's gotten on your bad-side, because I know you well enough to know that you don't go around calling people 'stupid bastard's every day…"Elliot's playful tone gradually vanished as Olivia's eyes widened and her face grew rigid with concealed rage, "Liv, what's the matter?"

Olivia shook her head in disbelief, "Oh, don't you _dare_ play that game with me, Elliot Stabler!" She stated as she brushed past him and went to open the door to leave.

Elliot wrinkled his brow, "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," She answered, with her back to him.

"I've been in the City," He tried to explain, "I've had some trouble getting over this retirement thing, so I haven't been out much, you can understand that."

Olivia chuckled under her breathe, "Oh, yes, yes…" She turned around and looked at Elliot with a stone cold stare, "But I had no idea 'not going out much' included falling off the face of the planet!" Olivia couldn't hold back any longer. The fury was unleashed.

"I haven't heard from you in months! You never answer your cell phone! You won't even _talk_ to me!" She choked on her words as the once-healed wounds began to open again.

"Liv-"

"I'm not done, yet, Elliot Stabler!" She yelled, "No one has seen or heard from you in three weeks, Elliot. Three weeks! Kathy, _Kathy_, of all people, came to me asking if I'd seen you! She even accused me of running away with you somewhere to have you all to myself!"

"Liv."

"I was worried sick about you! What if you'd been hurt? What if you were bleeding out in an alley somewhere with a bullet in your chest?" Olivia's eyes watered and her bottom lip quivered, "Do you have any idea what you've put me through?"

"Liv."

"Did you think I wouldn't be torn up about this?"

"Liv."

"Did you think this wouldn't affect me? That I'd forget about you? That I'd stop caring?"

"Liv."

"Do you know how long it took me to get back on my feet and admit to the world that I could do this without you?"

"Liv."

"And don't think, for one second, that I-"

"Olivia!" Elliot finally shouted, stopping Olivia from destroying him any further.

"What?" She asked, finally looking up at him.

She hadn't noticed, but as she was speaking, Elliot had walked to where he was a mere breath away from her. He raised his hand to her cheek, and gently wiped away the tears that had fallen. His own eyes were filled with regret and sorrow.

"I'm sorry, Olivia," He whispered, lowering his hand, "I should never have come. I just…I wanted to see you again."

"What?" She asked, wanting to hear his words again.

"I wanted to see you one last time, before…" He looked away, not wanting to see the pain in Olivia's eyes return, "I'm going undercover with the feds. I've been working with them these past weeks, building a cover story," He sighed, and rubbed his neck, "I thought someone might as well know…" He took a deep breath and looked back at her, hoping that the news wasn't as hard on her as he thought it would be.

Olivia was confused, "Wait, with the Feds? Why?"

"It's something with illegal gun sales and black market weapons," Elliot explained, "The wrong guns with the wrong people…like Jenna Fox…"

Olivia looked down at the floor, embarrassed, "Oh…" Then she asked, "But how could you have disappeared so easily? Surely we would have found you eventually…"

"Well, my cell phone died, my driver's license is in my wallet and my wallet is not with me!" Elliot explained, chuckling.

"Yeah we found you credit card on some creep known for hitting on women. How'd you manage that?" Olivia asked.

"Well that no good creep also has a pretty good reputation for pick-pocketing," Elliot said.

Olivia wrinkled her brow, "Wait, you purposefully got pick-pocketed?"

Elliot shrugged, "What better way to lose an identity?"

"But the Feds?" Olivia persisted. She was still shocked that he would work with them.

Elliot nodded slowly, "Yeah, I sort of volunteered, you might say…But Cragen put a good word in, and they said they'd use anyone, so…"

"Wait…Cragen knew?" Olivia asked, surprised, "We were trying to find you this entire time and he never said anything about you working with the feds..." She walked over to the cot and sat down, deep in thought, "Why didn't he tell me?"

"Well, it's a classified case," He said taking a seat beside Olivia, "The feds ordered him to keep his mouth shut…and I sort of asked him not to."

Olivia looked over at Elliot, "Not to what? Not to keep him mouth shut? Or not to tell me?"

Elliot leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, "Well…" He said, shrugging.

"Oh my god, Elliot…" She sighed and closed her eyes, not wanting to believe the truth: that Elliot specifically asked for her to be kept out of the loop.

"Look, I did what I had to," He said standing up and pacing the room, "I didn't want you coming after me, convincing me to stay. I knew you'd find some way to contact me, and I wasn't about to let you ruin any chance I had at finding a new life. I wasn't going to allow you to influence _my_ decision."

Olivia was shocked by what he said and stood in protest, "Elliot! I would never-"

"Don't give me that, you know it's true!" Elliot paused to look at her.

Olivia turned away, averting his gaze, "I'm…I'm sorry you think so," She whispered, sinking back onto the cot.

Elliot let out a frustrated sigh and returned to his seat, "Olivia, I shouldn't have said that, but…you and I both know that it was time for me to leave…I'd known it for some time, but I never really believed it until that shooting…I knew it would be hardest for you and I didn't want to-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, El," Olivia said, looking over to him, "I should never have questioned you, and I'm sorry…" Gazing into Elliot's eyes made Olivia's attempt at an apology trail off. Embarrassed, she looked away and hoped he wouldn't notice her fumble.

"No," He wrapped an arm around Olivia's shoulders, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter for the first time in months, "I'm the one who should be sorry, Liv. I should have talked to you long before this. I was just…scared."

"Scared?" Olivia looked up, "Of me? Elliot, I-"

"Not of you, well, sort of…" Elliot stood up and began pacing, again, "But not because I thought you'd talk me out of leaving. I knew you would back me up, and support me, like you always have." Elliot smiled at her and then returned to pacing, "I was scared of myself," He paused, with his back to Olivia, "One look at you and…I'd give up. I'd forget everything about leaving SVU and I'd rush back to your side…"

He paused. Olivia closed her eyes, silently urging him to continue.

"…Because I'm your partner…" Elliot whispered, turning to back to face Olivia, "…for better or worse," He shook his head in defeat, "I can't quit this, Liv. I've tried everything… but I can't give this up," Elliot shrugged. He glanced into Olivia's eyes for a moment, but then quickly looked to the floor, "I just can't-"

"Then don't," Olivia whispered, suddenly interrupting him.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

"I mean…I-" Olivia took a deep breath and stood to her feet, "Come back to SVU. Be my partner again-"

"You know I can't-" Elliot shook his head, trying to talk some sense into Olivia

"But I know we could work it out!" Olivia persisted "I just know Cragen would welcome you back. IAB probably won't be as harsh now that you've had a bit of time off," She rattled of possibilities and began to walk around the office.

"Liv, I can't!" Elliot argued, rubbing his eyes and trying to block out her desperate pleas.

"But you _can, _Elliot!" She looked to him, full of pride. She knew he had the strength to rise up and take his place in the team again, "You've always come through!" She began to pace around again, "You're the strongest, bravest detective on this squad! I need you here, we all do-"

"**I can't come back!**" Elliot shouted, grabbing Olivia's arm and forcing her to turn and face him.

"El!"Olivia was startled by his sudden force, and tried to pull her arm away, which only brought her closer to him. She looked up at him, and realized how close they really were.

"Olivia…" Elliot said, pain in his voice and sorrow in his eyes, "I. can't. come. back…"

Olivia shook her head, "Why not?" She asked, begging like a child.

Elliot sighed, "I just…" He paused and looked down, noticing that he still held Olivia's arm, and that she was so close.

Before she could react, Olivia felt the warmth of Elliot's arms surround her, holding her.

"I can't do this anymore…" He whispered in to her ear, "I just can't…"

He held her so tight, nearly crushing her, but she didn't try to break away. Olivia heard a small sob and felt Elliot's heavy breathe on her shoulder as he, himself fought back tears.

"Hey, it's OK, it's alright," She said, returning his embrace. She'd never seen Elliot break down like this.

"No…" He said, "Nothing's alright anymore…But I'm going to make it right, somehow…" He pulled Olivia away from him, but still held her arm's length.

Elliot gently rubbed Olivia's arm and looked down at the floor.

Olivia followed his sight line to find a surprisingly interesting speck in the floor tile.

After a moment Elliot looked up, and saw Olivia, blushing as red as a rose as she stared at the floor. He felt a sudden urge to tilt Olivia's head up and land a kiss on her lips, but naturally, he dismissed that feeling.

"Well," He said, letting go of Olivia, "It was good to see you again, Liv. I hope you don't mind keeping this quiet. My supervisor will have my ass if he knew I came here," He chuckled a bit.

Olivia looked up and nodded, "Of course. But what should I tell Kathy? She's been worried sick."

Elliot shrugged, "Tell her I jumped in the Hudson," He jested.

"Elliot!" Olivia reprimanded.

"No, don't tell her that. Tell her…" He thought for a moment, "Tell her I love her and that I just need some time to think."

"OK, I'll relay your message," Olivia said.

Elliot patted her shoulder, "Thanks, Liv. For everything."

Olivia smiled, "My pleasure."

Elliot started for the door, but then he changed his mind.

In one fluid motion, he turned around and strode to Olivia. He stopped mere inches from her, and leaned down. Olivia closed her eyes, not quite sure what to expect. Elliot simply kissed her cheek.

"Goodbye, Benson," He whispered into her hair.

Olivia opened her eyes.

He was gone.

* * *

><p>seriously, y'all need to review this story! I love feedback!<p> 


	5. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

* * *

><p><em>Several weeks later…<em>

"Fin, Rollins, I need you to go talk to the mother. If this witness is telling the truth, she may be hiding something. Take Munch with you, he can go knock on doors and see if anyone recognizes the man in the drug store," Cragen ran off orders to his team. They had just stepped into a mangled case of mix-matched alibis, and everyone was busy.

Olivia started to grab her coat and scarf. Even if she hadn't been given a direct order, she could still tag along and help out.

"Benson," Cragen said, as though finally remembering her existence, "May I see you for a moment, please. Now."

"Is there something wrong?" She asked, following him into his office.

"Close the door," He asked, taking a seat at his desk.

Olivia did as she was told, then turned around, and waited for him to explain the sudden gravity of the situation.

"Well?" She asked after several moments of silence as Cragen stared at his desk.

"We received a package a few days ago," He said, pulling out a small postage box from a drawer in his desk, "No name, no return address, nothing."

"And you dragged me into your office because?" Olivia asked, sarcastically.

Cragen looked up at her, trying to read her as he revealed a shocking piece of information, "It's addressed to you."

"Me?" Olivia asked, her eyes widening, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Cragen sighed, "I was concerned about what it might be. We've had victims reach out like this before, but we've also had several creeps who wouldn't mind seeing you dead, so…"

"You're kidding me! You went through my mail!" Olivia stated, exasperatedly.

"Look, I didn't go through it, technically. I just had the lab run a few tests for explosives and what-have-you. But it's clean, so here you go," He said, handing her the box.

"Thanks," Olivia said mockingly. She grabbed the package from him and started to leave.

"Look. Olivia, I was just worried about you, that's all," Cragen explained.

Olivia paused before opening the door, and turned around, "I know." She smiled, "Thanks, for…" She held up the box.

"You're welcome," He said, motioning her to go.

Olivia left the room and went to her desk. She sat down and looked at the package. Cragen was right, there was no clue as to who sent it, but it clearly said "Detective Olivia Benson care of Special Victims Unit…"

She wasted no time and pulled out a box cutter from her desk. She carefully cut the packing tape and opened the box.

She dug through the packing peanuts until she found a small red jewelry case.

_That's weird… _She thought.

There was also a note card.

"My Dearest Liv"it read.

Olivia's stomach flip-flopped.

She tried not to tear up as she slowly opened the jewelry box.

She gasped.

It was a necklace; a delicate gold chain with a pendent.

"Semper Fi,"was written in the emblem.

_Always Faithful… _

* * *

><p>HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?<p>

In an effort to receive more reviews and to make the reviewing process a bit easier, I have devised a rating system for you to use.

So, what's going to happen is, you will give 3, count 'em, THREE number ratings.

These rating numbers will apply to the entire story, as a whole.

The first number will rate me on my overall writing style. Did the scenes flow? Was the pacing alright? Was the phrasing and vocabulary up to par? Be honest.

The second number will rate the story's development and ability to captivate an audience. Did it make you want to continue reading? Or where you bored five sentences into it?

The final number will rate character believability. Where the characters true to themselves? Did their thoughts and actions reflect what the actual characters would do in the actual show?

The RATINGS:

1. Horrible! This should be put through the paper shredder and set on fire, it's so wrong!

2. What strange delusional planet are you from?

3. It was just bad…REALLY bad

4. Needs a lot of work. I repeat, A LOT of work.

5. Pretty Good-ish, could use some work

6. It was Ok, I liked it.

7. Nicely done, minor improvements needed, but nobody's perfect!

8. Practically perfect in every way! (keyword: practically)

9. More like a 9.8. (Because there's always room for improvement)

10. THE BEST THING EVER!

So, just type these THREE numbers, along with your regular review! (example: 6-7-5)

This will help me figure out what I need to work on, and what is good just the way it is.

THANK YOU! And stay tuned for more fanfic written by yours truly!


End file.
